Organized Chaos

A chilling tale of life in the Midwest. I'm still adjusting to being a legit thirty-something because my mind is still 19 - maybe? I have an excellent family. It is like we're the Cosbys only we're not lawyers or doctors, we only have two kids, we're white, and poor. Otherwise pretty much exactly. My girls are sugar and spice (literally) and my husband is pretty funny. I can't go to pet stores or I'll bring home another dog and I follow celebrity gossip too closely. Also I...(to be continued)

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May 16

enjoli:

Chris Messina’s face makes me want to take a nap in the crosswalk.

(Pretty sure my compliments-that-sound-like-insults are the reason I’ll die alone.)

Unless Mindy just asked Danny what he thought the average dude would think about her haircut, I’m gonna need him to shut all the way up. A guy did that to me once when I was wearing big-ass sunglasses. “Guys don’t like those, you know,” he said. “Who voted you their representative?” was my reply. What I should have said is “What makes you think I care what guys like?”

So sad the season is over!

jennyjennybobenny:

Stack Wines

YOU GUYS

Needs that I have.

(via jennyjennybobenny)

So basically I decided since I have great insurance and never use it, I might as well bite the bullet and try some counseling. The call with my insurance group trying to find in network providers was hilarious.

Good morning, my name is blank and I’m here to help you today. What can I assist you with?
I’m trying to find in network providers, and I’m not seeing them on the website.
For mental health?
(keep in mind the mental health section has a whole separate number and that is who I called.)
Umm.. Yeah.
*Urgently* Are you in crisis or considering harming yourself?!
*Cool as ice* Oh, no. Nothing like that. I just have a messed up childhood I’m ready to try and work through
Crickets….total silence.

May 14

My new plecostomus - aka sucker fish. I’ve named him Sucker MC. I wonder if he’ll be problematic…

May 13

jennyjennybobenny:

Taco Bell Waffle Taco Spotted in Southern Californa

I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO RIGHT NOW

Taco Bell breakfast? If this happens, I’ll be forced into elastic waist pants.

Hey guys! You want to know what’s neat? Talking to a customer who might be cancelling their business with you and accidentally saying “sexual” instead of “secular” - Maybe I’ll keep the business after all.

May 12

btothed:

Seriously. They should do this next month.

(via beefranck)

May 9

Major bucket list thing is to be published - even if self - and now that I have a new Macbook, I might just start doing something about it. I’ve got a list of ideas that are children’s literature, novels, and about three chapters written of a memoir. The latter will never get done because the thought of people actually knowing my whole story freaks me out so much - but, I think it would be an interesting read.

Children’s lit or Lifetime movie-ish type novel? Hmmm….

What Celebrities Would Look Like If They Were Average Americans

via Business Insider:Â What if the celebrities in today’s tabloids never got famous and were just ordinary?What if they didn’t have fancy stylists, trainers, make-up artists, hairdressers at their …

May 7

I’ve become oddly attached to my kids’ betta fish. Day before yesterday one of them came down with clamped fin which in betta fish world is a fast ticket to the death train.

After some Googling and trying out a couple of methods I have revived the fish good as new!

Praise be! Glory, glory! Grace be done! I am an almighty healer.

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